Enthusiasm

My amazing friend Kristen sent this via email today, and I loved it.
"A mother should give her children a superabundance of enthusiasm, that after they have lost all they are sure to lose in mixing with the world, enough may still remain to prompt and support them through great actions." — Julius C. Hare (1795-1855) English Cleric
She said:
"I love this quote….and think that the word “mother” might be easily replaced by the word “leader” or “friend”. Let us strive to give the people around us a bit of a re-charge today by letting our own enthusiasm and excitement for life shine and show!"

Thanks Kristen! You never fail to make me smile and feel more optimistic about my life!

Happy Birthday Mom

Today would have been my mom's 71st birthday. We usually went to lunch on her birthday...she was incredibly difficult to buy presents for though. She pretty much bought herself what she wanted when she wanted it. We basically gave up trying to get the present thing right. And my dad learned to just have her pick out whatever it was that she wanted...surprises didn't work! All she really wanted from us was our time. She lived to "make memories" with us and our kids. I still think about her and miss her every day.

In Which Chipmunks Come To Life

We have a little plastic chipmunk like this one that came from my mom's house. My kids took it as a memento when my dad moved. It lives in our front flower garden. It's kind of tacky, but whatever. I found out recently that Ryan has been telling Grace FOR YEARS that this chipmunk comes to life every night and does stuff. He's even gone so far as to sneakily go out when she's asleep and move it around, slightly, to different locations. She's gone out, and whoa, it's moved!
I also found out that one night Ryan and Grace were outside and he noticed that it was getting dark. He timed it just right and said "lumos" at the exact moment the street lamps were going to come on. I heard her telling Jill that he has magic powers. She really believes it.
Is she going to need therapy someday? Or do all brothers mess with us this way? Sigh.

20 years in pictures

Again, I hate to scan pictures. And there actually are surprisingly few of Andrew and I together anyway : ) I, of course, have been contemplating the last 2 decades. It all boils down to our kids really. Someday I'll scan and post the pictures of Andrew and I vacationing in Washington D.C., at the cabin etc, because of course we've been places and done things together. But as I'm thinking about it, the most important things are the 4 little souls we've created together. We've weathered jobs, callings, car problems galore, a flooded basement,teenagers, ill parents, suicide, miscarriage, a stillborn son. But we've also had fun, worked together, and watched these 4 amazing people come into the world and enrich our lives beyond anything we could have imagined. Especially notice the college graduation picture with THREE kids under the age of FOUR. Yeah! And notice how much my dear husband loves his kids...especially his girls. And between daughter #1 and the last picture of daughter #2 he lost the mullet!

20 Years

Twenty years ago today Andrew and I were married.
Ronald Reagan was president. George Herbert Walker Bush and Dan Quayle were elected in November, defeating Michael Dukakis and Lloyd Bentsen.
Ollie North was indicted for the Iran-Contra affair.
CD's outsell vinyl records for the first time.
Broadcast News, Fatal Attraction, Hope and Glory, Moonstruck, and The Last Emperor were up for an Oscar. (The Last Emperor won...never saw it!?)
Record of the Year: "Graceland," Paul Simon
Album of the Year: Joshua Tree, U2
Song of the Year: "Somewhere Out There"
Top ten songs:
1. Faith, George Michael
2. Need You Tonight, INXS
3. Got My Mind Set On You, George Harrison
4. Never Gonna Give You Up, Rick Astley
5. Sweet Child O' Mine, Guns N' Roses
6. So Emotional, Whitney Houston
7. Heaven Is A Place On Earth, Belinda Carlisle
8. Could've Been, Tiffany
9. Hands To Heaven, Breathe
10. Roll With It, Steve Winwood
Stamps cost : $.22
gas cost : $1.08
Acid washed jeans, crests on jacket pockets, fingerless gloves, Hawaiian shirts (Miami Vice!), leather bomber jackets, and big hair were the fashion.

Andrew had been home from his mission for a little over 4 months. Neither one of us had jobs. We moved into the apartment complex that my dad owned on 6th south in Salt Lake. Andrew started school at the University of Utah. We scraped and scrimped and somehow barely paid our bills...I don't remember how. But we were happy.
Andrew got a job with UDOT...I got jobs at the mall and at American Express. Six months later we were surprised with the stick turning blue....and so it began.

Oh Boys.

I'm basically lazy. I was searching through the files on the computer looking for old pictures I've already scanned...it's a lot of trouble to hook up the scanner and work on preserving all of the old pictures, and I'm loathe to sit and do it.
ANYWAY. As I was looking for pictures of Jillian I ran across this file, and whee there were some pictures of my boys....cute, yummy perfect little men. Aren't they fine?





































This is my all time favorite picture of my Ryan. Yum Yum Yum.

Maudlin...again...

Pardon me while I indulge in a little more "Waaa I miss my Jillian" whining. Yep, we have cell phones. And email. Thank goodness! But I miss her face. I miss her voice. I miss listening to her play the piano. I miss the constant interaction that we had...I could always count on her being there; to talk about her day, to listen about mine. To run here or there, to bring me a drink from Harts, to go shopping with, to fix my ipod...the list goes on. I still feel this empty sucking hole in my soul where she should be...does that make sense? My dear friend Joy reminded me to keep breathing, and truly that is the best advise I've been given, because about twice a day it hits me that she's not going to walk in the door any minute and I seriously DO stop breathing for a second.
However. I DON'T miss her shoes everywhere. Her room being a mess. Her purse dropped on the couch or table...hmmm...now that I think about it...(just kidding Jill)
I love that she still calls me every day...I love that she's relishing her classes and truly appreciates the opportunity she has to LEARN and GROW. And she does. So many of her friends had to postpone college due to money issues or whatever. This was such a hard step for her to take, and I'm so proud of her for following through and grabbing the opportunity and going for it even though it's scary. And lonely.
Whenever my mom wanted to "guilt" us into doing something, or remind us of what we owed her, or what we meant to her she would say "I carried you under my heart for nine months.....!!!" It became somewhat of a joke in the family...and now I use it (sparingly and usually on Tyler) when I'm trying to make a point. But now I'll say it to my Jillian...I carried you under my heart for nine months...and you're still IN my heart forever even though you're far away.
And yeah, yeah, we've aged. Good Grief. The first picture was taken when Jill was 6 weeks old (Jan 1990) the second on her 18th birthday (Dec 2007)She, however, has aged beautifully!!